Trapped in an Elevator
Author: Sher
Email: sher_sites@yahoo.com
Story Rating: PG
Anime: Gundam Wing
Pairing: None
Summary: The five Gundam-Pilots-Turned-Preventors are trapped in an elevator together for a few hours. The first GW story I ever wrote, so it's bound to be a bit bad compared to some of my other stuff. Pure comedy and silliness.
"Lunch time!" Duo Maxwell sang out happily. He slapped a folder on his desk shut and quickly closed out of his computer. Then he jumped up and ran over to Wufei's cubicle, leaning over and swatting the Chinese pilot's face. "Hey! I said, it's LUNCH time!"
Wufei looked annoyed as usual. "Listen Maxwell, we just started doing Preventor work two days ago! The war is barely over, we don't even have offices yet, and already you're thinking about lunch break!"
Duo rolled his eyes. "Is something wrong with that?"
"Nothing." Trowa replied, walking over. "I'm hungry too. Come on Wufei, let's go grab some lunch. It won't kill your code of honor to eat."
Wufei frowned for a moment before standing up. "Alright, but let's make this fast. I have a ton of work to do on the new terror project." He turned around to a cubicle behind him. "Heero, you going to come along on this frightening escapade?"
Heero glanced up, impassive as usual. "Yea, I guess…" He shoved some papers in his desk. "Why not? Besides, if I leave Duo alone with you, one of you won't make it back alive."
"Trowa's coming!" Duo pointed out, as though this would somehow solve the problems Duo and Wufei had.
"I'm not getting into a fight with you two though," Trowa answered.
"You guys won't mind if I join the party, would you?" Quatre smiled as he entered the room, placing his folders on his desk. "I'm starving!"
"Alright! We're just one big happy family today!" Duo laughed as the group started walking down the hall. "Five Gundam pilots going to get lunch!"
"Let's NOT make this a daily thing." Heero muttered, mostly to himself. Duo pressed the elevator button to go down.
"So why'd they put us on the fifteenth story of this building anyway?" Trowa frowned.
"Oh, that's in case Heero jumps out the window." Duo grinned and stepped in the elevator, holding the door for the others. "He won't have as far to fall! That was Sally's decision - after she watched him jump from the Alliance hospital two years ago!"
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Typical woman."
"For your information, I wanted to die that day!" Heero snapped, leaning back against the mirrored wall. Duo pressed the button that said 'floor 1', and the doors shut.
"I noticed! You scared the shit out of me too!"
"If I remember correctly, we didn't really know each other then." Heero frowned.
"Yea, we didn't know each other for a while!" Duo smirked. "But I'm used to your suicide missions now!"
The elevator slowly descended down a couple of floors. Duo hummed quietly along with the music from the speaker in the ceiling, while the others remained silent. Suddenly the elevator stopped. Duo glanced up. "Must be getting more victims! Uh, I mean… Passengers!" he grinned.
"No…" Heero frowned, looking up at the numbers above the door. "We're between floors. Nothing's lit up…"
Wufei stared. "Huh?"
"What exactly does that mean?" Quatre asked nervously.
"Off-hand?" Heero shrugged. "We're stuck."
"Oh." Duo leaned back against the wall. "If it's only that… We'll be moving again in a minute."
There was a long pause. The elevator remained where it was. Duo raised an eyebrow as he watched the unlit numbers. Wufei crossed his arms. Quatre continued to look worried. Trowa remained silent. Heero only frowned more.
"Maybe if we call for help." Duo suggested, opening the phone box. He dialed a zero. "Hello? Yea, my name's Duo Maxwell, and I'm…" There was a pause. "Yea…" Duo grinned and turned towards the wall, away from the others. "That's me… ex-Gundam pilot… sexy, hot guy… Yea… yea, I know…" Heero groaned as there was another pause. "Well sure! I don't mind giving you my autograph! Hell, I didn't know I was that famous! Sure thing! As soon as I get off this elevator… What's that? Oh sure, I'll let you touch the braid…"
Wufei turned around and snarled under his breath in sheer frustration from the second pilot's typical attitude. Heero glared at Duo. "Give me that!" he snapped, shoving the braided pilot out of the way and taking the phone.
"But! She likes me!"
"Shut up!" Heero hissed. "This is an emergency, and you're chatting away to an operator!" Heero sighed and took a deep breath before growling into the phone. "HEY, we're stuck in an elevator! Listen, we really need some help here!" Heero said loudly. "What?" He paused. "NO! You can't talk to Duo!"
Duo smirked and examined his nails. Heero grew a little red. "Listen, if you can get us off this elevator… ALRIGHT! My name's Heero! Yea, I'm a Gundam pilot too! WHAT?"
"What's she saying?" Duo asked.
Heero pulled the phone from his ear and slowly hung up, looking a little frustrated. "She said that if we're Gundam pilots, we should be able to get off this elevator by ourselves… without any help."
"Of all the nerve!" Wufei shouted. "Damn that stupid… WOMAN OPERATOR!"
Duo rubbed his ear. "Don't shout in here! Damn, it's too small of a space Wufei!" He turned to Heero. "Well that just does it. She won't get my autograph! And I won't let her touch my braid either!" He protectively pulled the braid over his shoulder and started playing with it.
Quatre sighed. "We've got to get out of here!"
"I know!" Duo grinned. "We can call the police!" He grabbed the phone before Heero could stop him, and dialed a few numbers. "Hello? Is this the Police Station? Hi, my name's Duo Maxwell, and I'm stuck in an elevator… Yes! Would I lie to you? Don't answer that… I said don't answer that!" Duo growled. "Yes my name is Duo Maxwell! YES! I'm a GUNDAM pilot! Why does everyone want to know this?!" He directed the last line towards Heero, who was glaring at him. "What's that officer? No, I haven't broken into any building… I'm not saving any hostages… Listen, I'm just stuck in an elevator! At the Preventor's building!"
Wufei was smiling at this point, actually getting a kick out of Duo's pointless conversation with some police officer that obviously wasn't helping the matter.
"FINE!" Duo shouted, hanging the phone up. "He said to call the Preventor's help line, and not to bother them!"
"Injustice…" Wufei muttered. "The police force isn't any help! I'll have to have a talk with them when I get out of here!"
"I'm going to call 911." Duo stated firmly, picking the phone up again. Heero groaned and rolled his eyes.
"This is an emergency!" Duo cried frantically the second the operator picked up at 911. "HELP!! You've got to save me!" he wailed. The other pilots stared at Duo. He continued his dramatization, as if this new approach would help matters any. "I'm stuck!!!" He made a fake sobbing sound. "I'm in an elevator with four really big guys! And they're trying to rape me!"
That did it for Heero, who was already getting mad at Duo's excessive use of the phone. He grabbed the back of Duo's collar. Duo screamed - which added very realistically to the conversation. "HE'S BEATING ME UP!" There was a long pause. "My name?"
"OH NO…" Trowa groaned.
"Duo Maxwell…" Duo answered timidly. There was another pause. "I'm not making that up!" He yelled. "NO! Listen to me; I'm stuck in an elevator! You've got to come get me out! WHAT?"
Heero watched as Duo slammed the phone down. "What'd she say?"
Duo pouted and crossed his arms. "She accused me of making up a false identity, creating a false alarm, and now she's going to trace the call and prosecute whoever it was 'pretending' to be Gundam pilot Duo Maxwell."
Heero snickered and then started laughing. "Serves you right!"
Quatre pushed them both out of the way. "You guys are insane…" he muttered. "All we have to do is call Noin!"
"Why didn't I think of that?" Duo said, glancing at Quatre.
"You were too busy making up a false identity!" Trowa smirked.
"Oh, that wasn't funny." Duo snorted. "Especially coming from YOU!"
"Hello? Can I speak to Miss Noin please?" Quatre called loudly. "What? She's not in the office? Then where is she? At lunch… I see… Thanks." Quatre hung up. "Noin and Sally went to lunch together."
Duo's eyes suddenly grew wide. "Lunch…"
"Oh no…" Wufei groaned. "He's going to go into withdrawals from food!"
"Then we'll just wait in here." Heero frowned, leaning against the phone so Duo couldn't reach it. "It won't be long. We'll start down again."
There was a long pause as the boys waited. After about ten minutes in total silence, Duo looked back up at the speaker.
"You know that music is really acid bands put to classic instruments."
"What?" Wufei glanced up, annoyed.
"The elevator music." Duo explained. "They take acid rock bands' songs, and arrange them to classical instruments."
"That's a lie," Quatre insisted with a slight frown.
"No it isn't. I read it in a magazine!"
"What magazine?" Quatre snorted. "Rolling Stone?"
"Hey, don't ditch Rolling Stone!"
"Some playboy magazine?" Trowa asked.
"Don't ditch that those either!" Duo snapped. "I also saw it on the news! They were talking about how these elevators use acid music and change it to classical…"
"We get the concept!" Heero glared. "Shut up!"
Duo scowled. "I was just trying to make conversation."
"I still don't believe it." Quatre frowned. "Classical music is an art all of its own, and it has NOTHING to do with acid bands!"
"What's playing right now?" Wufei asked sarcastically.
"Electrasy." Duo replied. "That's a song called 'Angel'. They're a UK band, although not really acid…"
"It is not!" Quatre cried. "That's Sebastian Bach!"
"What band is that?" Duo asked, trying to look confused.
Quatre cringed. "Oh, just forget it!"
Trowa tried not to smile. Heero was still glaring. Silence started to hover again. Duo fidgeted with his braid for a few minutes before Wufei lost his temper.
"STOP PLAYING WITH THAT STUPID THING!"
Duo looked up. "Why?"
"It's driving me crazy!"
"Aw…" Duo grinned. "It's fun! You should play with yours!"
Wufei's eyes grew big. "That wasn't right, Maxwell."
"I didn't mean it the way it came out!" Duo blurted, trying his best (which wasn't good enough) not to laugh.
"MAXWELL!"
"You started it!" Duo snapped.
Heero drew himself to his full height. "Duo's right this time. You started it Wufei."
"Thanks!" Duo grinned.
"Don't thank me yet," Heero growled. "We aren't out of here yet, and I'm not saying I won't kill you before we DO get out!"
Duo cringed a little and backed against the mirrored wall. "Okay, I get it…"
Again, silence seemed to hover. Trowa sighed. "Ever notice how we all grow really quiet whenever we're around each other?"
"No, all I ever hear is Maxwell's loud mouth." Wufei muttered. "Until Heero tells him to shut up, and then I guess it gets quiet. For about ten seconds, usually."
Silence again. Wufei slumped down to the floor with a sigh. Heero didn't dare move from his post hovering over the phone. Then…
"I am slowly going crazy. Crazy slowly I am going. I am slowly going crazy. Crazy going slowly am I. I am slowly going…" Duo's voice was monotone and steady.
"SHUT UP!!" Four voices yelled in unison. Duo cringed against the wall.
"I have a question." Heero stated coldly. "Duo, who in their right mind gave you the job of piloting Deathscythe?"
"What kind of question is THAT?" Duo frowned.
"Did you just gag the original pilot, torture him, and steal Deathscythe?" Heero snapped.
"Well, no! I mean, I did steal Deathscythe, because Professor G told me to, but I've always been the original pilot…"
"It does make you wonder how the five of us all ended up piloting Gundams. We ARE all very different." Trowa replied.
"How long have we been in here?" Wufei asked.
Heero rolled his eyes. "That was a random question."
"About forty-five minutes." Quatre sighed.
Wufei's eyes grew larger. "We have to get out of here… SOON! Before we ALL go crazy!"
~*~ Three Hours Later
"Hey, Wufei?" Duo grinned.
"WHAT?" Wufei growled.
"You're fidgeting, and shaking, and muttering under your breath." Duo replied, poking Wufei's shoulder.
"I don't like being in enclosed places with…"
"A Gundam is pretty enclosed. How'd you survive that?" Duo sat down beside the Chinese pilot.
"That's different! I don't like being in a small place with YOU!" Wufei yelled.
"Man, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were rabid or something!"
Quatre made a sobbing noise and leaned his forehead against Trowa's shoulder.
Wufei snarled. "Would you like me to bite you? Maybe you'll die!"
"No thanks… That didn't sound right!" Duo pretended to look shocked.
"MAXWELLLLLL!!!!"
"Cut it out!" Heero's voice was dark and warning. "Duo, Wufei, opposite sides of the elevator! Duo, get over here with me, so I can hurt you if you try anything stupid."
Duo was rather obedient as he crawled on his hands and knees towards Heero and sat down beside the Japanese pilot. "Yes sir!" he announced in mock obedience.
"Do you get more hyper without the aid of sugar?" Trowa frowned at Duo.
Duo paused. "I don't know… I can eat a lot of sugar when we get out and we'll see what happens!"
"NO!" Quatre cried.
"Dr. J prepared me for everything." Heero mused quietly. "Mobile suit battles, assassinations, fighting, combat, piloting… But he DIDN'T train me to be a babysitter for DUO!"
"I don't need a babysitter!"
"In that case, act your age!" Heero snapped.
"That's… 17!" Duo said proudly, holding up his hands. He tried to count to seventeen on ten fingers, if only to annoy the others.
Trowa sighed. "We're ALL 17 Duo…"
There was a sudden jolt. Duo screamed and grabbed Heero around his waist. "AHHHH!!!!"
"LET GO!" Heero howled.
"We moved!" Wufei cried, jumping up.
Everyone waited for a moment, holding their breath. Quatre exhaled. "And we stopped."
Duo pretended to sob. "And I was SO hoping to get off this thing away from you guys!"
"That feeling is mutual!" Wufei growled.
Heero suddenly pulled his shirt off. Duo blinked. "What are you doing?"
Heero shrugged. "Just hot, that's all." There was a long pause as he slowly draped the shirt over his shoulder.
Duo cracked his neck and every knuckle in each hand, and then smiled. "I know! We can sing!"
"No." Quatre stated.
"It'll be fun!" Duo grinned. "Just jump in if you know the words!" He cleared his throat loudly before bursting into the first round of, "Ninty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer!"
A loud whapping noise echoed in the elevator, shutting Duo up. Heero was standing before him, a deathglare in his eyes. His shirt was in his hand. It had just knocked Duo across the face, and Heero drew a breath as he met Duo's rather surprised look. "Now, are you going to shut up?"
"Uh…?"
SMACK!
"OW! Heero!"
"Are you going to shut up?" Heero repeated.
"Uh…"
SMACK!
"HEY! I DIDN'T SING ANYTHING!" Duo's voice rose heatedly.
"Well you were about to. And you probably deserved it anyway." Heero shrugged. He pulled his shirt back on. "If you start singing again, I won't just hit you with a shirt. I'll knock you unconscious. Take that as a warning, if you're smart."
Duo suddenly grew silent. After about ten more minutes, the other pilots were all staring at him, slightly confused. Duo continued to stare forward at the opposite wall. Finally Heero spoke.
"Duo?"
No answer.
Quatre narrowed his eyes. "Duo…?"
Duo suddenly jumped up and let out a war cry, slammed into Wufei, and collapsed on the floor. He started laughing as he wrestled Wufei down. The Chinese pilot glared up at Duo. "What the HELL are you DOING?!"
"Aw, come on, don't tell me you never watch WWF!!!!" Duo laughed and jumped up, snatching Wufei off the floor. He threw him against the wall. "We might as well have some FUN! Instead of just sitting around doing NOTHING! You guys are the most boring - uninteresting -"
Heero instantly jumped on Duo's back, sending the braided pilot to the floor. "FINE!" he snarled. He grabbed Duo's braid, and the second pilot yelled. "Let it go! Let the sacred braid GO! I'm WARNING you, Heero!"
Wufei shouted something in Chinese and jumped on top of Heero, pinning both pilots down. Trowa smirked devilishly and grabbed Quatre's arm.
"No! I am NOT getting involved in this -" Quatre yelled. But the blonde pilot ended up on top of Wufei just the same. Trowa suddenly laughed out loud, freaking everyone out, and jumped on top of Quatre, who yelped. The weight nearly crushed Duo, who was still on the bottom.
"Duo, you're not going to scream from the pressure?" Wufei snickered.
Duo struggled and gritted his teeth. "My mommy told me never to cry!"
That's when the elevator jerked again, sending everyone in a different direction. No one paid any attention to the movement, or the fact that they were now headed down. Duo took the opportunity to get OFF the floor. Heero let out a yell and collided into Trowa, who lashed back and hit Wufei, who grabbed Duo's braid and yanked, making Duo yell again. Quatre slammed into Trowa, who fell the OTHER way into Heero. Heero pounced on top of Quatre. Trowa grinned and jumped on top of Heero. Wufei yelled in Chinese and fell on Trowa. Duo's face lit up.
"DOG PILE!" he shouted, deliberately jumping as hard as possible on Wufei. There was a massive groan as everyone under Duo was pressed down against the floor. And that's when the elevator doors opened.
Noin raised an eyebrow. "What the hell?"
Five pilots stared back at her from various different angles. Five faces grew bright red. Noin tried to erase the smile on her face, but without any success.
"What in the WORLD is going on?" Sally blinked, staring at Wufei.
"Come on guys, I can't breathe!" Quatre wailed.
"Get off of me Maxwell!"
Duo's eyes grew wide. "FREEDOM!" he yelled, rolling off the pile and running out of the elevator. He tripped and sprawled on the ground, rolling over on his back and staring at the ceiling of the Preventer Building's lobby, breathing hard.
Noin smirked. "Well, I'd say you boys passed your test better then we thought you would! Although I wasn't expecting a huge pile when the doors opened!"
Heero stumbled out of the elevator. "What?!" he stared.
Sally looked over her clipboard. "You're all still alive. THAT'S a good thing!"
"What are you talking about woman?" Wufei demanded, brushing his jeans off.
"You mean… You all deliberately set this up?" Quatre's mouth dropped. "You waited until we were all on the same elevator and then you… you…"
Noin and Sally smiled at each other.
"You just wanted to see what we'd do if we were stuck together for HOURS?!" Trowa narrowed his eyes.
"That's the basic concept!" Noin replied. "You guys were always avoiding much conversation with each other, so we wanted to run a little… test! And normal tests won't work on Gundam pilots, so we had to devise something more… interesting."
Wufei's face turned bright red and he opened his mouth to yell at Sally, who simply smirked and turned away. "Now, you guys go grab something to eat! You're probably starved!" she laughed.
Duo sat up bolt right. "FOOD! I FORGOT!"
"Oh no…" Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei all groaned together.
Duo looked as innocent as possible. "Hey, do you guys still want to go grab something to eat… TOGETHER?"
"NO!"
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